because not all bite marks are nice bite marks

phewwwwwwwwwwww what a day,
i had a very eventful day yesterday which left me quite surprised and a bit confuddled. firstly before we go on i don't think of myself as very attractive, i think i'm pretty but i am the girl who sat in the library during her breaks in high school, i am certainly not what you would call a 'popular' girl,i am not cool, i am a semi closet geek. most of my younger teenage years were full of social awkwardness. i haven't particulay grown out of this, i still find small talk tedious etc, however since i have been home and today i have met three different guys who have taken an interest in me( i am not including the builder who wolf whistled at me, but to be honest its been a while since that happened), this leaves me slightly rabbit in headlightsish, and happy but still slightly confused at the whole situation.
i'll start at the beginning

i went to see the anthony gormley exhibit at the hayward gallery.

GO SEE IT. IT IS FANTASTIC. SERIOUSLY HE IS AMAZING. blind light is such an experience go just for that thoguh his steel sculptures are amazing upstairs it will be the blind light exhibit which will draw you back.

but back to my point.

at the gallery my friend and i got talking to the gallery attendant, young, shorter than me but had very blue eyes.bit pretentious but he worked at an art gallery so what did i expect but he was quite nice had a bit of verbal dioherra which i don't know was natural or just that he was trying to impress us but anyway when we we wandering back to go into blind light a second time he asked me out.

in my experience i have found that within the first 5 minutes of meeting a potetial guy you know how 'far' he will get with you.

so i had considered what would say if he did ask me , hence when he did i said yes and wasn't rabbit in headlights, so we're gonig to meet for drinks on saturday which i think will be interesting but i was drawn towards him more when he used the word 'shinanigans' in a text.

but when i went out last night to the weekly bar which does rock night, i met my ex, which was ok in person, better than i'd hoped not as awkward as i'd thoguht. there was a big group of us mostly guys and so there was casual friendly flirting. one of my ex's friends was there and he seemed very interested but meh, ( hopefuuly this in't too confusing) that friend also brought another friend,M, who i ended up hitting it off with.

so M and i were talking and flirting with lots of casual touching or arms and backs etc. also being so loud in the bar we had to lean in very close to each oher. and he was nice, he made me laugh and we were having big 'philasophical converations with lots of arm waving, which as we know i am quite attracted to. anyone who can keep up with my exagerated hand gestures gets brownie points in my book.
then one thing led to another and we were kissing, somewhat more aggressively than i would have prefered, hence the bite marks on the inside of my mouuth and gums. but we were getting a bit carried away, just kissing but quite heavily. then my ex came over and told me to get a room and that i was a whore.... woot.

i then told him where to go, as i felt that it was none of his business, which it wasn't. M was quite understanding, and we were just leaning there to which he simply asked
" so do you do this sort of thing regularly?"
"no"
"do you go to random pubs and dragging guys into corner all the time?"
"no"
"then your not a whore then, are you?"

*or something very simular to that, memory evades his exact questioins*
i liked him alot better for that, i mean i liked him already but still.

so yeah i got his number, we agreed to tone it down. my ex texted me telling me i was a whore. i went back to my friends , and M is taking me to dinner on sunday.he's a bit of a smoothe talker and problably a player but we'll see i'll probalby be more careful when i see him again when less copious amount of alcohol are involved.

but i was actually quite upset. one of my new resolutions is not to be so judgemental of others, its so easy but alo i should know better, hence when i was called a whore i felt very angry.

there is such a double standard on guys and girls she's a whore he's a stud. it sucks. but i feel fine with myself. i don't regret what i have done, which in the grand scheme of things could have been alot huger, i mean i could have been sleeping with guys left right and centre! which i haven't. and i don't need anyone telling mewhat i can and can't do i am perfectly capapble of deciding for myself thank you very much. i haven't had a one night stand or anything as dramatic as that, and i feel infuriated that i should be judged becasue for the first time i've gone out, being releativly recently single, had a good time and then been vindicated for it.

yes i wouldn't have been happy if i'd seen my ex all over someone else but the bar is a big place he didn't have to be near me, i resent the implication that i am a huge whore, just for being young and wanting to have a good time.
grrrrrrrrrrrr

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and this is all from a girl who can tell you what happens in 'blake 7' and all the names of the characters in star trek next gen and voyager.

yes quite strange,

ok this was a very long post and very personal, and probably made little sense but i hope it was semi interesting.
to all those who know me i am happy to hear your views. i respect honesty as you well know but then i expect nothing less from my friends :)

next a nice post on girl law i think.

life is so much more complex when sex is involved. isn't that the truth.